The Queer Variety Show
Need to contact Megan Munro/Sparklemuffin/Mena Paws - email me at
Queer Variety Show
Featuring Queer/LGBTIQA+ and Disabled (includes neurodivergent, mental illness, chronic illness) performers and our allies
Please do not wear perfume or cologne and consider wearing a mask to protect audience and cast who can catch colds and flus easily.
Smith's Alternative
76 Alinga Street, Canberra, ACT.
Tuesdays 7pm - 9-30pm
17th December - 'Beliefs' theme. -buy your tickets here
More dates coming for 2025.
Inquiries - MrGreenTealDrag@gmail.com
Next Show, 17th December 2024
Image description: A graphic which has a textured blue, black and grey background. There are brightly coloured silhouettes across the middle. There is a Smith's Alternative logo in the bottom left corner and an Arachne Art logo in the top right corner. There is text in white shapes across the top: Text: Smith's Alternative. The Queer Variety Show. $20 and $25. 17th December. 7 to 9pm.
Featuring Queer and Disabled Performers
This months performers are: Makedonka, Heya Gosper, Sparklemuffin, Medea on the Argo, Ty Zahn, Lorelai, Empress Eyrie and Empress will also be doing an act.
We will have a couple of prizes to give away.
You are encouraged to wear whatever you feel comfortable in. This could be your Pjs, your oodie, tracksuit or an evening gown. Whatever you like.
Please do not wear strong smelling perfumes or similar products and consider wearing a mask to help keep the show safe for disabled folk attending.
*disabled as a broad umbrella term this includes but is not limited to, chronic illness, neurodivergent, mental illness etc.
Buy tickets here
Performers, 17th December 2024
Heya Gosper. (she/her)
Heya Gosper is a singer-songwriter with an uncompromising, raw and edgy aesthetic and a gutsy, rough musical style. Non-binary, trans, polysexual and social justice-oriented, she writes about here identity and current affairs that affect her intersections.
Image description: Heya is a white skinned person with collar length blonde hair and red framed glasses. She is standing in front of a microphone stand and is playing a black electric guitar, she is wearing black headphones. She is wearing a purple tee shirt and black pants, behind her is a couch and what looks like a living room. There is white light around her, she has a relaxed expression on her face and her eyes are closed.
Sparklemuffin (they/them)
photo by Nathan J lester
Fifty fucking-six, and fabulous, Sparklemuffin is a trip up and down the gender spectrum. Bogan DILF, 80s goddess and costume genius. Sparklemuffin combines their multi-disciplinary art practise, to create stories that will blow your mind, or your pants. Queer and disabled, the stage is their place to shine. Bringing visibility to often unseen identities. They have an attitude that is rather appealing. Once your eyes have gazed upon this weird, magical mad hatter, you will know you are home. Their job is done.
Image description: Sparklemuffin is a white skinned person, they have stage makeup on. They are standing in front of their rollator, with the rollator side on, they have their hands on the rollator handles. They are wearing a suit of armour, which is black and silver. It has a roman style skirt, wrist bands and upper arm, armour. The silver components of the armour are in various rectangular shapes, these are pill packets. Sparklmuffin is also wearing a silver and black helmet, that has a mow hawk shape on the top. Peeking out from underneath their armour is some kind of pink costume. Their rollator is also wearing armour made from the same materials as their armour, it covers the whole front of the rollator meaning only the handles and wheels are visible. The background is black. They are looking directly at the camera.
Makedonka (she/her)
Makedonka is a Macedonian-born, now Canberra-based comedian used to call south west Sydney home. She likes to think of herself as the bridge between the ancient history of the Balkans and the slightly less ancient but still confusing world of Australian suburbia. She’s adapted to the dry wit of Canberra’s political scene mixed with the passion of her heritage— whether it’s navigating Aussie slang or explaining why you should never challenge a Macedonian mother’s cooking, she’s here to make you laugh after a 4 year self-inflicted hiatus.
Image description: The is a head shot of, Makedonka who is is a white skinned woman, she has long curly brown hair and dark eyes. She is wearing a green top and is smiling broadly at the camera. Behind her is a white and black screen.
MedeaOnTheArgo (they/them)
MedeaOnTheArgo (they/them) is an acoustic guitarist and vocalist from Canberra. They draw their influence from a variety of folk and rock artists, using bitter-sweet lyrics and their colourful appearance to share their experiences as a queer and non-binary person.
Image description: MedeaOnTheArgo is a white skinned person, with shoulder length black and brown hair. They are sitting with a guitar on their lap, with one hand near the neck of the guirtar and are looking out to the right. They have dark eyes, with some brightly drawn on orange and pink freckles and tiny blue lips. They are wearing a white, short sleeved shirt, with a prtine of blue, light orange tan and light blue sequres and triangles. They have a short green skirt on and beige, patterned tights over their crossed legs. . They are 5 brightly coloured, beaded bracelets on their left wrist, and yellow nail polish on. They have peachy coloured beads around their neck as well as a blue collar with a metal heart at the front. They have large white and pink daisy earrings on and many brightly coloured hair clips in their hair. The Background is white.
Lorelai
Lorelai is a new performer from the Northern Territory, who is making her first public performance in the ACT. She has practiced her performance with Florian’s Youth Cabaret. We wish we could tell you more about her but she was busy playing racing games and didn’t want to think of a proper introduction.
Image description: Lorelai is a white skinned woman, she has pale coloured eyes and her mouth is slightly open, and she has no makeup on. She is wearing a black dress with bare shoulders and long black hair with red at the front. She is looking out to the side and has her left arm bent at the elbow and her hand with fingers closed.
Empress Eyrie - Emcee and she will be doing an act
photo by Nathan J Lester
The Goddess of Badass.
Mountain landscapes rise like the curve of her hips, her breath is the warm air of summer, her skin as smooth as quartz crystals. A walking art gallery she wears her skin like a canvas and her heart on her sleeve. Sometimes strange, sometimes sensual, sometimes both. Empress Eyrie blends burlesque with performance art and storytelling to bring her soul to stages all over Australia. She is the proud owner of Tease-Able Burlesque School. Empress puts the dynamite in Dynamic Disability.
Image description: Empress Eyrie is a white skinned, tattooed woman with shoulder length, red curly hair. This is a shot from the waist up. She has her hands on her hips and is looking, seductively directly into the camera. She has makeup on. She is wearing a red headpiece or crown and a red under bust corset with a red top. The background is a red curtain with a pattern.
Accessibility
Many buildings in Canberra are not accessible. Smith's Alternative is a bit more accessible than most. I will be working with Smith's to make the event just a bit more accessible. As a producer Smith's Alternative is a really good option, as they provide a lot of the support to make each event happen, more than many other venues. This in itself makes it accessible for me to produce a show there. Without this support I wouldn't be able to do it.
A couple of things that help make the venue accessible is that the owners, Nigel and Beth are always around to help out. It is also known to be a safe space for queer folk.
Film Clips
The following is film clips of the venue for purposes of accessibility. Watching these may cause motion sickness for some. Photos coming soon for folks who can't access the film clips. Pardon the shakiness in parts, that's my disability in action.
Entering the venue and the inside of the venue
For performers these films will be of use, however I have a separate clip specifically for you, which I am not going to list here, as it shows backstage area of Smith's Alternative. I can send you a link if you email me.
Smith's Alternative is at ground level, this means mobility aid users can get in the front door. The front door opens inwards. The furniture is able to be moved around, which means we can move it to accommodate our needs. If you are a performer, there is a ramp that goes up onto the stage. To get to the toilets, it requires you to go up and down a few steps at the back of the venue OR you go out the front door to the left and then left again down a ramp which takes you to all the toilets. I am told that not everyone can actually use the disabled toilet, due to the way the door opens and the angles. Some wheelchair users are known to visit a neighbouring venue to go to the toilet.
I don't know if what we plan to do it considered Open Captions. We will be projecting some text onto a film screen. The text will be basic or abbreviated versions of what the Emcee will be saying. It will include the performer introductions.
We will have available a couple of large print copies of show information.
Please do not wear strong smelling perfume or similar products and consider wearing a mask to protect members of the audience and the performers.
Click on 'Map' to be taken to a link with a map of where the venue is.
A section of the map is below. Smith's Alternative is indicated by the red marker.
Photos of Smith's Alternative for accessibility purposes
Entry into the building
This is the entry into Smith's Alternative. There is a small wooden ramp. The door opens inwards.
Image Description: A doorway with brown wooden doors and a big long brass handle. One door is open. The ground on the outside of the doorway is tiled. There is a small wooden ramp leading up to the door opening.
This is just inside the main door entry of Smith's Alternative. To the left is the bar area, to the right is an area with some couches. There is a step up to the area with the couches. The main door to the toilets is at the back of the room. The door/entry into another room is just past this entry to the right. This area can get quite congested just before an event.
Image description: A room with a bar on the left and some furniture on the right. The floor is black and white Lino.
This is the entry to the room where many shows are held. The person who checks peoples tickets, usually stands at a small table to the left of this doorway when you enter.
Image description: A wooden door way. To the right is a wall with lots of posters on it and furniture in front of it. Looking through the doorway, there is a bunch of chairs and a small step up to the left. The stage with a screen down is just visible.
This is an overall view of the main show space, just after you walk through the door. Not quite visible is an area that is slightly raised to the left, with and array of seating and tables. To the right there is also an array of seating, including many couches and soft seating.
Seating can be and is arranged differently depending on what event is being held and how many tickets are sold. If sold out, the seating is usually in rows and fairly jam packed. In the right of this image there is a red ramp.
Image description: A room with an array of different chairs and tables. There is a red bit of floor to the right, this is a gentle ramp going up to the side of the stage. The stage is in the distance, there is a screen hanging down on the stage.
The toilets
Wheel chair users can go up the red ramp and sit facing it. The furniture behind them is usually arranged in rows, all facing the ramp (facing the stage).
Image description: A room with a bunch of chairs on the left, a red ramp to the right of the chairs and further furniture next to the red ramp.
To get to the toilets, you go through the red door in the first room, that the bar is in. This is not accessible to mobility aid users, as there are three steps on the other side of it.
Image description: An image of a room that has a black and white checked Lino floor. There is a wall on the left with some furniture and other furniture and some curtains on the right. In the middle of the photo is a red door with 'toilets' written on it.
To access the disabled toilets, you need to go back out the front door of Smith's Alternative, turn right and there is another building entry that is a couple of sliding glass doors. These open automatically.
Image description: An image of a couple of glass sliding doors. There is some signage written on the left hand side. text: physio, massage, podiatry. There is some signage above the door that is just visible.
After you go through the glass doors you will see a lift right in front of you, to the left of that is a some stairs to the right is a ramp with a red railing. This is where you go to access the disabled (and other) toilets.
Image description: a picture of a ramp. The floor is dark grey and the wall is white, there is a red railing.
As you go down the ramp you will see the men's toilets on the left (there is a couple of steps down to them). At the bottom of the ramp you will see some steps ahead of you, this leads back into Smith's Alternative, to the left is the entry to the disabled toilet and the women's toilets. The door to the disabled toilet opens outwards.
Image description: A photo of a grey door, with white walls around it and a grey floor.
The disabled toilet is quite small and the corners that you need to turn to get into it are also quite narrow. Some people are not able to access it, due to the angles and the size of the toilet.
Image description: A disabled toilet room. The walls are white there is a white toilet on the left hand side of the room. There is a rail that starts behind the toilet and runs around to the left side of the toilet. Just visible is a hand washing basin on the left side of the image.
This is the side wall of the disabled toilet. You can just see the toilet in the bottom right hand side.
Image description: a photo of a toilet /bathroom. There is a white hand basin in the left corner, a rail that is along the wall, a sanitary bin and the edge of the toilet in the right corner.
Outside area
This is the outside area of Smith's Alternative, it is directly in front. There is a step down, and a lot of the furniture is big and heavy. However, a mobility aid user could get in there by moving towards Northbourne Avenue and going 'around'.
Image description: a bunch of outdoor furniture, with some plants in the background, a large column in the right, top corner.
This is to the left hand side of the outdoor area at Smith's Alternative. As you can see it is open, with no barriers, this could be accessible to mobility aid users.
Image description: A large wooden table with bench chairs is in the right side of the photo. In the background there is paved ground and some garden beds and a road in the background.
Parking
The Queer Variety Show is being held on Tuesday nights. Most of the parking at that time will be free (after 5.30pm). The map below shows where there are some parking spots, as indicated by the double white crosses. There are six disability car parks in Mulwala Lane, next to the health centre, across from the back of the coach terminal. Hobart Street car park is close, with about 5 disability parking spaces and there is street parking. The car park that is next to London Circuit, indicated by the pink crosses, has a boom gate and there is a fee at all times.
Performer information
The first four shows are currently full.
If you are interested in performing in the future, please send me an email
Below is some information about how the shows will work from the point of view of performing.
The Queer Variety Show is for queer/LGBTIQA+ and disabled performers. (Disabled used as an umbrella term to cover, neurodivergent folk, chronic illness, mental illness and any other disabilities). We will occasionally have someone who does not fit this description, as we need our allies. I am looking for performers - drag, burlesque, story tellers (this can include a coming out type of story), poets, comedians and musicians (perhaps not a full band set up, we can discuss this). There can be no messy acts - no glitter, confetti, that type of thing and I do not have the capacity to include pole, fire acts or anything that requires extra safety. I am also looking for Emcees. You might also have a good film footage of you performing, we can possibly show films. You can be an experienced performer or a newbie, I'd like a range.
In the first instance, we will be paid by ticket sales at the door, after Smiths take their cut. I will do my best to make sure we sell those tickets. Performers and the Emcee will be paid before anyone else is.
As this show is to platform queer and disabled performers, I will do my best to make this as accessible as possible for you. I also understand that people might be hesitant to apply, in case they have to pull out. I will have things in place to deal with this.
Burlesque and drag type of acts - limit of 5 minutes
Story tellers - can go longer
Musicians - can have up to 15 minutes
Other acts - we can negotiate
There will be no rehearsals for these shows, you need to organise that for yourself. Shows are being held at Smith's Alternative in Civic. (Canberra). There is little backstage room there, so you will need to come along with hair and makeup done and be as ready to perform as possible. This is possibly with the exception of Burlesque performers.
If you would like to see a video tour of the space, let me know and I can send you a link. I am not making this public as it shows some back stage parts of Smith's Alternative that I don't think